Zoloft Plush

$40.00

2″ x 8″ Hand Cut, Hand Sewed Soft Sculpture

10 in stock

I’ve been on Zoloft for about a month and though worlds better than the other SSRIs I’ve been on, one of the more intriguing side effects is that my dreams are insane. They are vivid. They are cinematic. They are scary, not like a zombie apocalypse, but like a car accident or a heart attack.

They feel real and realistic, which makes them even more disturbing. They feel like memories, or even closer, they feel like things that just happened.

Sometimes they are Inception-style dreams where I believe I’m awake and then wake up again. In one such dream, I was, in reality, at my parents’ house in Florida but I “woke up” believing I was home in my New York apartment. I got dressed like normal and went about my day in my apartment, only realizing I was still dreaming when I grabbed my perfume bottle and noticed it was misshapen. (How’s that for a totem, Leo DiCaprio?)

When I Googled “Zoloft and dreams,” I found many people asserting that the anxiety they were no longer feeling while awake was manifesting in spades at night. So while the medication works, the feelings have to go somewhere. They dreamed of lost pets, of being in train stations with no ID or money, of missing calls from loved ones. What struck me is that all these are very realistic, typical situations. All the mundane stuff people would normally freak out about in real life was shifting over to be dealt with by the subconscious.

I dreamed about going to the supermarket with my boyfriend without wearing shoes, or that my mom was hugging me in my sleep, or that I was a professional makeup artist but I didn’t actually know anything about makeup application. I’m obviously still worried about humiliation or being unprepared or family troubles. And if I can’t feel it during the day, my brain’s gonna make damn sure I feel it while I sleep.

Gaby Dunn, “On Zoloft, Inception Is Real”